[May as well be a galra right now indeed. He practically growls and launches himself at Lance, ready to take him down and make him shut up because nothing has happened to Shiro and he's not afraid, he just wants Shiro back. And god he is scared, he's terrified of what's going to happen to them all.
He grabs him by the shoulders and makes to tackle him back.]
[ keith may be about the same size as lance but he's a bunch of coiled, dangerous energy when he wants to be - which is right now. he's grabbed and lance grits his teeth, remembering at least some of his garrison training. when keith shoves him back, lance goes loose and with him, hooking his hands onto his elbows.
he's not a fighter like keith is but he can try to push him off when his back hits the ground. ]
Because! [Because what? Patience yields focus doesn't work now, not with Shiro gone, not without the person behind the words. He doesn't have patience, how can he be patient when they need to be out there looking, not fixing the ship or messing with codes.
Not starting fights with him.
He's still sore and exhausted from constant fighting in here already and Keith falls back easily enough.]
I needed to think.
[Even if it's only partly true, he doesn't really believe it himself. They both know why he's been in here, avoiding the reality.
You're being selfish. You're only thinking of yourself. If only he hadn't heard any of that in Shiro's voice.]
I'm pretty sure you were literally doing the opposite of thinking right now.
[ that may be lance's inability to comprehend not being able to think during a fight. during a fight he's always thinking. maybe that's why he makes a better sharpshooter than a pilot. there's a lot of instinct in piloting.
lance rolls into a crouch but he doesn't immediately go for keith, his fingers splayed out to keep his balance on the training floor. ]
[ neither of them really wanna fight - not the way they usually argue, when they get annoyed. lance huffs out an annoyed breath all the same. ]
We miss him too, okay?! [ that's the reason hunk is helping coran, pidge is doing everything they can to hack, that lance takes his place running the scans, over and over again.
lance makes a move towards keith, all the same, the same tackle keith had used on him. ]
That doesn't mean you get to stay in here and - mope!
I'm not moping! [Then what am I doing. He's leaned forward, his forehead almost touching the ground because it's hard, it's so hard to keep going after this but he knows he has to for Red, for all of them.
He looks up when he hears Lance moving and gets greeted with being tackled onto his back. And for once, he doesn't move to get up. He's finally too tired.]
I just-- [Breathe. Breathe in. His voice finally lowers from the half-shouting he'd been doing.] I just... Don't know what to do.
[ lance is expecting more of a fight. instead he gets keith just laying there, with lance's hands on his upper arms and his knees on either side of his thighs. lance doesn't press the advantage, sitting back on his haunches a little and looking at keith. ]
Keith, I'm gonna level with you... I don't think any of us really know what to do.
[ lance doesn't want to admit that but it's true. ]
But look... you know Shiro. You need to help us. Everyone could tell he was trying to get you ready in case - in case.
[ in case he died, lance doesn't say, and he leans forward a little, shoulders slumping. ]
And you know, we're worried about you. No one's seen you in the mess for days.
[He draws in a weak breath at that. Closes his eyes and pinches them to staunch the tears that started to well up just from the thought of that. His voice gets quieter; he knows Coran or anyone could listen in on the castle speakers if they wanted to.]
I told him nothing would happen to him. I-i told him not to talk like that, Lance.
[Another slow breath, still not steady.] I don't know what to do.
[With the grip loosened, Keith eases up, less like a taut rubberband waiting to snap. Relaxes underneath him in a way he couldn't have even days ago.]
[His relationship with Shiro was different than it was with anyone else - he didn't have the history he had with anyone else. But god if he doesn't wish he had something like that with the other paladins. Maybe then this wouldn't hurt so much.]
This shouldn't have happened. Lance, I-- I told him nothing would, and now look. [Keith finally looks at him, expression for all the world like Shiro's disappearance is his fault somehow.]
[ keith's thoughts are an echo of lance's own - how it would have been easier to ask keith this if they were on the same level, but that was earlier.
some of keith's self flagellation clears up with that comment, and lance exhales sharply, one hand moving off of keith's arm to rest above his head, supporting himself better. ]
You didn't do this, Keith. We did everything we could to keep him safe, you included.
[He blurts it out without even a thought. Everything happened so fast and now here they are, missing their leader and best friend.
He's only felt this kind of loss once - when Shiro was thought to have died on the Kerberos mission. He didn't know what to do with his feelings then either. And then he didn't have anyone with him like he does now.]
What can I even do? [His skills are piloting and fighting. Not... searching, or hacking or anything useful for something like this.]
[ the point is, they need all of the paladins together. if keith is in here fighting himself bloody, then what's the point? ]
Keith - you are enough, not just staying stuck in here. We need you, I -
[ lance is not going to be cliche and see he needs keith. it's not exactly true, but he wants to say it because - well, they all need each other. and lance has been chasing after keith's shadow for so long and it's not - that kind of thing isn't something you do when you just hate someone.
lance presses his lips together thinly for a moment, then moves his hand to cup keith's cheek. okay, this he is absolutely certain is going to get him punched if keith's not into this but - whatever, he who dares wins or some bull like that.
what keith gets is the press of lance's mouth against his own, quick and soft and almost shy. ]
[He's about to protest, instinctual arguing with Lance like they do, but--
But the touch against his cheek is new and not something he's used to. He blinks up slowly at Lance before their lips meet and he holds his breath. Keith's never-- He hasn't ever ...had this. He knew how he felt about Shiro but never acted on it, was too scared to ruin what he did have. He'd thought about it with Lance, only a few times, sometimes, when he was alone and annoyed at Lance flirting with every girl they ran across, but--
He relaxes under him and leans up into it before Lance pulls away, breathless and at a loss for words.]
[ lance has thought about it, before. not really consciously, more like something that slips in when he's alone. he knows he cares about keith - maybe not the same way he cares about pidge and lance, but they wouldn't be who they are if they didn't care, on some level, he thinks.
it's one of those things everyone kind of knew, lance thinks. keith absolutely had a Thing for shiro but none of them ever really brought up.
lance pulls back but not away, still hovering over keith and his hand still cupping his cheek. then he closes his eyes and leans his forehead against the other paladin's. ]
[He should say something cool here. Something awesome and probably kind of romantic because that's what this situation is, it's romantic and emotional and his eyes still feel wet from trying not to cry before and Lance is right there touching their foreheads and--]
[ it's so nonsensical and yet absolutely keith that it makes lance laugh a little, probably too loud and right in keith's face but it's - something normal, at least, or what passes for normal on the giant space castle. ]
Yeah? Yeah, I guess you are.
[ lance opens his eyes and he's not sure what to do or say next. try to drag keith out to help the others? he doesn't really want to do that yet, for slightly selfish reasons.
he wants to kiss keith again, and he thinks he should ask, but that might be weird cause they just did? and he realizes he's been staring at keith not saying anything for a good thirty seconds so - screw it.
lance leans in again, pressing his mouth against keith's and not so quick to pull away. ]
[God that laugh. He feels it right down to his exhausted bones. And then there's lips against his again and they're not pulling away, so Keith leans in harder, like desperate for the attention because he's never had it. And he hasn't and he needs it.
He moves a hand to cup the back of Lance's head for the touch, but also to keep him close. Not let him get away, not when they get to have this.]
[ lance isn't exactly aware of that fact, how alone keith had been in general before all this happened - but he can kind of pick up on certain things, like the way keith leans in harder for the affection.
he doesn't really have intentions about pulling away and especially not when keith cups the back of his head. he moves his other hand to cup keith's cheek, cradling his face in his hands as he keeps pressing their mouths together.
it feels good, so lance chases that feeling. better than the yawning despair of before, at least. ]
[It's good and the feeling is nice and he's doing what Keith does best: moving on instinct. He parts his lips and cautiously licks at Lance's lips, not entirely sure he's even doing that right, but he's wanting to try, while Lance is there and willing.
Maybe it wasn't so bad that Lance interrupted him, even if- If he'd been a jerk just before now, that's just how they go and then things like this happen maybe in the future hopefully. He wants more than this, he knows that now, he wants skin and breath and noises and--
There's a beeping sound not too far off, and Keith nearly jumps out of his skin.]
What-- [Oh. The gladiator bot he'd left running and waiting was powering down, its head drooping.] Oh.
[ there are zero complaints out of lance for keith trying things like that. at least keith isn't saying he isn't good enough, although lance knows a kiss isn't going to fix that kind of thing immediately.
he opens his mouth when keith licks at his lips, intending on returning the favor when the beeping sound makes keith jump, pull away. lance lets go of his cheeks to look up, spotting the gladiator bot powering down. how long had it been there, just watching? he knew it was a robot, but creepy!
actually, this was... just a training floor. ]
Uh. [ lance's voice almost cracks and he has to cough to cover it. ] Maybe we shouldn't here.
[ he does raise himself up after a moment, then offers a hand to help keith. ]
[His heart starts to sink at "Maybe we shouldn't" but only stalls a second when Lance adds that last word "here". So he's still interested? He starts to shove at him a little, but... The offered hand. It's a first step in.. whatever this is, so he takes it, pulls himself up.]
Probably not. One of our rooms?
[He sounds a little hopeful. Way better than the mild distress from a few minutes ago.]
[ it is better than the distress. if lance were an entirely altruistic kind of guy he would tell keith they should at least talk to allura and the other paladins, so they know keith is... well, here. definitely not all right.
but lance is not entirely an altruistic person and he wants to kiss keith again, so. he nods after a second, bouncing on the balls of his feet. ]
[It's a few feet they don't have to walk, so Keith nods, gives Lance's hand a squeeze.]
Yours then.
[Keith isn't even sure what they're doing or going to do because this is impulse entirely, for something he didn't even let himself do with Shiro, so Lance doesn't have to ask twice before he's at the training room door waiting, a nervous ball of energy coiling tight again but without the anger this time.]
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shorterpass2016-02-06 10:41 pm
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He grabs him by the shoulders and makes to tackle him back.]
I'm not scared!
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he's not a fighter like keith is but he can try to push him off when his back hits the ground. ]
If you aren't, why are you in here?!
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Not starting fights with him.
He's still sore and exhausted from constant fighting in here already and Keith falls back easily enough.]
I needed to think.
[Even if it's only partly true, he doesn't really believe it himself. They both know why he's been in here, avoiding the reality.
You're being selfish. You're only thinking of yourself. If only he hadn't heard any of that in Shiro's voice.]
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[ that may be lance's inability to comprehend not being able to think during a fight. during a fight he's always thinking. maybe that's why he makes a better sharpshooter than a pilot. there's a lot of instinct in piloting.
lance rolls into a crouch but he doesn't immediately go for keith, his fingers splayed out to keep his balance on the training floor. ]
Look, you can't just stay in here.
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[Stay in here and fight through his emotions, fight through the loss and not have to put it to words.
Keith slides away from him, one knee to the floor and gets his breath. He's too worn out to have this fight with anyone, let alone a teammate.]
Why can't I do this?!
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We miss him too, okay?! [ that's the reason hunk is helping coran, pidge is doing everything they can to hack, that lance takes his place running the scans, over and over again.
lance makes a move towards keith, all the same, the same tackle keith had used on him. ]
That doesn't mean you get to stay in here and - mope!
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He looks up when he hears Lance moving and gets greeted with being tackled onto his back. And for once, he doesn't move to get up. He's finally too tired.]
I just-- [Breathe. Breathe in. His voice finally lowers from the half-shouting he'd been doing.] I just... Don't know what to do.
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Keith, I'm gonna level with you... I don't think any of us really know what to do.
[ lance doesn't want to admit that but it's true. ]
But look... you know Shiro. You need to help us. Everyone could tell he was trying to get you ready in case - in case.
[ in case he died, lance doesn't say, and he leans forward a little, shoulders slumping. ]
And you know, we're worried about you. No one's seen you in the mess for days.
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I told him nothing would happen to him. I-i told him not to talk like that, Lance.
[Another slow breath, still not steady.] I don't know what to do.
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We'll figure it out, okay? All of us.
[ his fingers loosen on keith's arms, more like a gentle touch than gripping now as he watches keith with obvious concern. ]
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[His relationship with Shiro was different than it was with anyone else - he didn't have the history he had with anyone else. But god if he doesn't wish he had something like that with the other paladins. Maybe then this wouldn't hurt so much.]
This shouldn't have happened. Lance, I-- I told him nothing would, and now look. [Keith finally looks at him, expression for all the world like Shiro's disappearance is his fault somehow.]
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some of keith's self flagellation clears up with that comment, and lance exhales sharply, one hand moving off of keith's arm to rest above his head, supporting himself better. ]
You didn't do this, Keith. We did everything we could to keep him safe, you included.
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[He blurts it out without even a thought. Everything happened so fast and now here they are, missing their leader and best friend.
He's only felt this kind of loss once - when Shiro was thought to have died on the Kerberos mission. He didn't know what to do with his feelings then either. And then he didn't have anyone with him like he does now.]
What can I even do? [His skills are piloting and fighting. Not... searching, or hacking or anything useful for something like this.]
i DONT HAVE KISSING ICONS
[ the point is, they need all of the paladins together. if keith is in here fighting himself bloody, then what's the point? ]
Keith - you are enough, not just staying stuck in here. We need you, I -
[ lance is not going to be cliche and see he needs keith. it's not exactly true, but he wants to say it because - well, they all need each other. and lance has been chasing after keith's shadow for so long and it's not - that kind of thing isn't something you do when you just hate someone.
lance presses his lips together thinly for a moment, then moves his hand to cup keith's cheek. okay, this he is absolutely certain is going to get him punched if keith's not into this but - whatever, he who dares wins or some bull like that.
what keith gets is the press of lance's mouth against his own, quick and soft and almost shy. ]
IT'S OK I DON'T EITHER
But the touch against his cheek is new and not something he's used to. He blinks up slowly at Lance before their lips meet and he holds his breath. Keith's never-- He hasn't ever ...had this. He knew how he felt about Shiro but never acted on it, was too scared to ruin what he did have. He'd thought about it with Lance, only a few times, sometimes, when he was alone and annoyed at Lance flirting with every girl they ran across, but--
He relaxes under him and leans up into it before Lance pulls away, breathless and at a loss for words.]
TAKE THIS ONE ICON I HAVE OF THEM
it's one of those things everyone kind of knew, lance thinks. keith absolutely had a Thing for shiro but none of them ever really brought up.
lance pulls back but not away, still hovering over keith and his hand still cupping his cheek. then he closes his eyes and leans his forehead against the other paladin's. ]
Look, I need you too.
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Well, I'm right right here.
[Nailed it.]
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Yeah? Yeah, I guess you are.
[ lance opens his eyes and he's not sure what to do or say next. try to drag keith out to help the others? he doesn't really want to do that yet, for slightly selfish reasons.
he wants to kiss keith again, and he thinks he should ask, but that might be weird cause they just did? and he realizes he's been staring at keith not saying anything for a good thirty seconds so - screw it.
lance leans in again, pressing his mouth against keith's and not so quick to pull away. ]
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He moves a hand to cup the back of Lance's head for the touch, but also to keep him close. Not let him get away, not when they get to have this.]
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he doesn't really have intentions about pulling away and especially not when keith cups the back of his head. he moves his other hand to cup keith's cheek, cradling his face in his hands as he keeps pressing their mouths together.
it feels good, so lance chases that feeling. better than the yawning despair of before, at least. ]
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Maybe it wasn't so bad that Lance interrupted him, even if- If he'd been a jerk just before now, that's just how they go and then things like this happen maybe in the future hopefully. He wants more than this, he knows that now, he wants skin and breath and noises and--
There's a beeping sound not too far off, and Keith nearly jumps out of his skin.]
What-- [Oh. The gladiator bot he'd left running and waiting was powering down, its head drooping.] Oh.
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he opens his mouth when keith licks at his lips, intending on returning the favor when the beeping sound makes keith jump, pull away. lance lets go of his cheeks to look up, spotting the gladiator bot powering down. how long had it been there, just watching? he knew it was a robot, but creepy!
actually, this was... just a training floor. ]
Uh. [ lance's voice almost cracks and he has to cough to cover it. ] Maybe we shouldn't here.
[ he does raise himself up after a moment, then offers a hand to help keith. ]
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Probably not. One of our rooms?
[He sounds a little hopeful. Way better than the mild distress from a few minutes ago.]
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but lance is not entirely an altruistic person and he wants to kiss keith again, so. he nods after a second, bouncing on the balls of his feet. ]
Mine? It's closer.
[ by like, a matter of a few feet but whatever. ]
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Yours then.
[Keith isn't even sure what they're doing or going to do because this is impulse entirely, for something he didn't even let himself do with Shiro, so Lance doesn't have to ask twice before he's at the training room door waiting, a nervous ball of energy coiling tight again but without the anger this time.]
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i have to sleep soon and im like noooo
same tho final exam tomorrow morning for me at work
wehhh. also keith bby
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